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Saturday, February 16th, 2008
8:43 am - finally! update!
yeah, i've had a lot going on recently, so i haven't had time for this thing. sorry, to any random person out there that might be avidly reading this :D. so the shiz went down with my dad, and that has had me really stressed lately. sfjksdhfjsdfhsdu. crazy. lately i feel like i'm wondering if i really have friends. i mean, they all seem to be leaving. some don't have time for me, some i feel like i barely get to hang out with anymore, some lie to me, and some tell me that if they lost me it really wouldn't matter much.

wow. idk if i've ever felt so alone.

boys don't make any sense either.

with times like this, all i have are tangible things.

current mood: blaahh!
1 | but don't call me a ballface.
Sunday, January 27th, 2008
12:46 pm - wasome wasome why?
nothing makes sense to me anymore. apparantly the whole breaking up thing was a delusion in my mind, because he said we never did. yeah. okay. i'm sure i'm just crazy. yep. uh huh. we'll go with that.


i'm pissed off at sarah's parents, because they're being assholes about her coming over here. just excuses. wtf did i ever do?

my dad was hilarious last night. it was fun. i love that guy.

i hate sharon lindsey :D

current mood: mellow
2 | but don't call me a ballface.
Saturday, January 26th, 2008
12:23 am
well. i think i'd be happier right now with a severed head. i hate the fact that i got so fucking dependant on you again. everytime i let you in, and i love you like i know that you want me to, you drop me on my ass. why is it that i can't compete with fucking wrestling? you're supposedly "in love" with me.. but we both know that if you had to choose between never wrestling again and saving my life there'd be a funeral in a week. i felt like you were ready to change, and you were ready to make things right this time. i felt like soon we'd have it. i could be the girlfriend i've always wanted to be, and you could have me head over heels with you again. we'd fix our trust, we'd fall back in love like we were last summer. but here i am, crying a god damn river while you go crawl up your fucking mom's ass. yeah, be a good boy jake. be a great awesome wrestler/football player and get rid of that skanky amber girlfriend of yours. all she does is "hold you down". YEP, BITCH. that's right. you know, did you ever stop to think that if it weren't for me you wouldn't be the person you are today? i was your first fucking EVERYTHING you dick! how can you just leave me behind like this? why is this so easy for you? you can't tell me you can look at a shooting star and not remember. i hope those songs, those nights, those summer days.. i hope they haunt you. and i hope that for at least a split second, you can feel what i do.

go be a good boy, jake. you've lost your skanky girlfriend that holds you down. go be that wrestling/football star. you're MUCH better off without me. sorry i wasted your time.

current mood: lonely
2 | but don't call me a ballface.
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
10:43 pm - i landed window.
my life is pretty boring lately. i guess sarah is probably gonna come over friday night.. and then SATURDAY NIGHT will be completely incredible. i seriously haven't seen him in so long, and it's gonna be so good. finally. jeeze.

i want my alone time.


current mood: smiley
but don't call me a ballface.
Monday, January 21st, 2008
7:23 pm - my soul is useless without you.
not much going on these days.
my hands smell like pickles.
it's too cold here.
i can't wait for saturday night.
i really like spanish.

current mood: satisfied
1 | but don't call me a ballface.
Sunday, January 20th, 2008
5:03 pm - you fuck so good i'm on top of it.
today is pretty boring. i'm just gonna have to clean my room and shit, and finish any homework that i have.. even though i can't think of any? blah. i really hate school. i DO NOT want to go back tomorrow. this entry is completely pointless, and i have no idea what to say. heidi and ricky were here.. and that was probably the most exciting part of today :D ha, we had fun. i should probably start reading great expectations soon. blah, i hate my english class. i just can't get into it.. and there's so much work. i wish i could just have arte, ciencias, espanol, y computacion all day long.

peace out, dick scout.

current mood: bored
1 | but don't call me a ballface.
Saturday, January 19th, 2008
9:11 pm - if you were a seed, well i'd be a pod.
i just got home from sarah's, and the smell of pizza is making me want to barf. we went to the mall today and it was fun. i ate pretzel sticks :D we watched some movies, too. a walk to remember is pretty freaking sad. and we watched the hillside strangler or whatever, and it wasn't scary. it was just full of boobs. sheesh. i learned some funny things about this guy, and seriously.. the SECOND i meet him for the first time i'll probably crack up laughing. i will never be able to take him seriously. never. it was really cool hanging out with sarah though, and it felt really good. nothing was awkward at all, and she has changed. i definitely think that we'll be seeing a lot more of each other these days. i already think of her as my best friend. i just can't not, you know?

current mood: chipper
1 | but don't call me a ballface.
Friday, January 18th, 2008
8:12 pm - i like those things you do.
welllll, i've been thinking. i have THE CUTEST boyfriend that ever lived, seriously. he's so fucking cute and sweet and everything. i love him to death, and idk where i'd be if i lost him right now.

bleh, trying to make plans with sarah right now and its hard cause neither of our parents want to drive. aagh.

today was boring as fuck, and i hated school.

my boyfriend is incredible, though :D that's pretty much the only reason i don't go insane about being there. sfjkhwedufhjsk. he's amazing. him and lola are like.. my pride and joy. they're amazing.

lola is definitely the best daughter anyone could ask for (;

current mood: aggravated
but don't call me a ballface.
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